your gorgeous chaos was a danger to my beautiful ordinary life, and I knew that. then suddenly we became beautifully extraordinary together — r. m. drake
How lucky we are to have something that makes saying good-bye so hard — Unknown

49 Days

People probably think we are crazy baby.

Falling for each other so quickly. 

1,400 miles, always begging you to stay.

I don’t care what people say, our love came instinctively. 

This was supposed to happen.

No doubt in my mind.

People can doubt us, we’ll prove them wrong then.

There is not greater love I could find.

For now, I’ll sit and wait,

Until the day I see you come through the gate. 

Proud

I’m wondering around.

I can’t quite figured out the person I’m willing to be. 

The positions in life I strive for, the road that I’m bound,

nothing seems to be the future I used to see.

I’m scatter brained.

I’m weak.

These stresses have me feeling chained.

I’m caught up in life’s clique,

Or I’m on the outside, 

Looking in on what I wish I could be.

And this should not be the person I carry alongside

The shadow that follows me gives me a sort of decree.

Taking life one day at a time gives me too much leeway,

Leeway to excuse my mistakes.

Living life too quickly can give a feel of highway.

But I refuse to wish for remakes.

Who I am, this person wondering about,

Is who I am. 

I’m a person filled with doubt,

And I am a person filled with shame.

But that is who I am.

And at the end of the day, I am proud.

It just so happens..

…that tradition states: Find a husband by 20… marry by 22… 3 kids before you’re 30. Find a job you love… never quit… have family get-together’s… bake cookies with your mother-in-law. Laugh and laugh and laugh… 

Only 2 in about 10,000 people experience this tradition. Why is it that society begs us to be part of the “social norm” when this norm is so rare. I am extremely content with how my life is now. I am 19 and I am no where close to meeting my husband, having kids, finding a job. And I am extremely content with this because I know God has someone for me. I am not searching for him because I know, when the right time comes, God will throw him at me. And I will just know. 

Patience should be part of the tradition. 

Falcons Football

I would just like to say how proud I am to be an Atlanta Falcon. They are doing so great and I love having them to root for. This is by far my most favorite time of year. It is so inspiring and I couldn’t ask for a better city to live in. EIGHT AND OH BABY!

You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling. Tom Hardy 

We don’t understand why God puts certain people in our lives. Sometimes, they bring us pain. And other times they bring us happiness. And sometimes one person can bring us both. I believe God put you in my life to show me who I am looking for. To put things into perspective and to show me that He has everything under control. We may not understand why people say certain things to us to shortly after take them back. Or why the people we meet will just end up building up our emotions just to tear them down. You can put so much into one person in hopes of the future, and they can put so little. But that’s over. And I will never see you. And times like these, when I need someone the most, you aren’t there. All I hope, is that you’re happy. And that you have all you want and more. Because in the end, that’s all you really hoped for too. 

A Year Ago…

… I had my life figured out. I had a pretty good idea of who I was going to marry, what career I was going to pursue. The paths of wrong and right were clearly marked. I had a completely different set of friends. I wasn’t as anxious and I was happy. Now, I don’t know what I’m doing. The world doesn’t make sense anymore. I seem to always be confused. I’m overwhelmed and unorganized. This is not me. I am not this person. 

I guess I just needed to vent. Or I guess I still do. 

Mannequin

As I walk down the deep black street,

I see a curious, beautiful boy.

I think of a clever way to meet,

He seemed to be holding a wooden toy.

I ventured on this adventure of love,

But wondered if he felt the same.

The ultimate symbol of love, a white dove,

Flew overhead to make a claim.

I felt myself shake,

And as I came close,

The boy who seemed to never be fake,

Was actually a boy of one single pose.

Though across the street, he looked so real,

He was actually a boy I could never feel. 

Letter In The Snow

It’s as if you never knew.

Why must you have left me here alone in the cold?

It’s so cliche to say I’m blue.

My emotions never seemed to come in so bold.

I sit here weeping my feelings to you,

You walk away so nonchalantly.

There is only one thing on my mind that I yearn to come through.

Please come back and ease my sadness so quickly.

One wrong determination and you call it quits.

My person knows of the wrong doing and sorrow I have caused.

But my heart seems to be at its last wits.

Tearing apart inside yet, I am the one who wronged.

My apologies have out-numbered the stars in the gloomy night sky.

No word or phrase will convince you to love me again,

And it’s only a matter of time before I learn to say good-bye.

I may never see your smile, hear you laugh, or dance with you in the rain again.

Punishment enough to never look into your deep blue eyes once more,

Deserving I must say though.

With that, I will say, your child I will never bore.

Find love again, and I will sit here alone, and watch the snow.

If Only

I dream. Like any other person in the world, I dream. I dream of love and happiness. Why? My reason is to no comparison to that of the truth. I have love. I have happiness. Yet I dream for these things to appear. I hope for them, I wish upon every star for them. No one is perfect. No one is in any way capable of everything. Sure people say if you just put your mind to it, you can do anything. Well, doesn’t a dream create itself in your mind? Doesn’t every thought, every intension, every plan happen in your mind? So if you’re putting your mind to these things, how come they do not necessarily happen? If only you could put yourself in my dreams. If only I could write out every dream for you and you can analyze every detail and make it all come true. I’m a normal human. I hope for my favorite team to win, and my favorite movie to watch, but I have no intensions of making my life in any way more perfect than having everything the way it is now. So… to dream is to dream. If only it could only be that.

My sister means the world to me

My sister means the world to me

Getting excited for Thursday! Falcons Football!